What the IG Friend Said...

She said " you can use this place to slowly pry your fingers off of your stories, like I do. I find it's easier to let go one paragraph at a time."

She included some emojis in the comment, a side smirk and a kiss blow.

it makes a lot of senes, definitely what she said and maybe the emojis too. (Though I am always a little nervous about emoji speak though. Like what are you ACTUALLY saying with those little yellow faces?)

What I am really wanting to work through this MeBlogSoMo is the grip. This tight grip I have on my stories, especially when it comes to writing. I can tell my stories verbally pretty well but when it comes to writing them down I seize up.

I hold so tight and I am pretty sure what I am guarding against is shame. My own shame, the shame I inherited from my parents an ancestors. The shame that is very real but feels taboo because no one wants to admit it's there.

To admit it's there is to feel it and my gosh it hurts.

And so this idea that my instagram gave me, to slowly pry my fingers off my stories, is brilliant. I don't think I will just open my hand and let them go with ease. Maybe someday when I have worked through all of this and grown.

Right now I see the clutching, and I know it's for something. Today I assume it's because I am ashamed. I don't want to live with shame any longer. I am not even sure what I am ashamed of. I do know that this is bringing me to tears.

Alas...that's my story today.

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Hey I'mVicki
Standing at the crossroads of 
Divine Intervention &
The province of Dreamers

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